Grief changes everything—but so does love.

As many of you know, my sweet 22-year-old niece Ashlie passed on January 1st in a tragic motorcycle accident in Koh Tao, Thailand. For the past four months, she had been living on the island—pursuing her dive master certification after graduating from university in Canada—and her light shone so brightly.

We were incredibly close, and she was only 12 hours away from catching a flight to Australia for a new job opportunity. Adding to the bittersweet nature of those final days, my sister Dawn had flown to Australia for a sabbatical—the first time in years that all three of us would be together in one country.

The suddenness of Ashlie’s death, just as she was beginning to build a life she loved, has made these past two months feel surreal. Even now, it’s hard to believe that she is gone. Yet amid the pain, I have found profound lessons and unexpected moments of healing that I want to share with you.

Perhaps, in sharing these reflections, we can all gain a deeper understanding of both life and death, and slowly find peace in our sorrow.

*I also want to acknowledge that grief is a deeply personal journey—each of us experiences it in our own unique way. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and every path through loss is valid.

1. Healing Through Presence

 
Traveling to Thailand to be with my sister and Ashlie’s body turned out to be more healing than I could have ever known. I learned about her passing just moments before my flight back to Australia from Canada, and two days later, I was on a plane to Koh Tao.

Being physically present allowed us to piece together what happened that day—prompting us to ask the difficult questions that naturally arise.

At the Buddhist temple near her diving school, where her body was kept in a refrigerated casket according to tradition, we found a beautiful, sacred space. Leading up to the cremation, friends and family could gather at any hour to laugh, cry, and simply be with her.

Visiting Ashlie, the serene altar commemorating her life, along with the vibration and intentionality of the monks chanting for three evenings —these rituals helped my heart begin to process this enormous loss.

2. The Strength of Shared Grief

 
I have been deeply moved by the outpouring of love and support from everyone—friends, family, and even acquaintances—who reached out during this difficult time.

Every message, email, and phone call, even if it was simply “I’m so deeply sorry for your loss,” felt like we were sharing the burden together.

I once worried that my words might never be enough to comfort someone in grief, but now I see that just knowing you care is more healing than any perfect phrase could be.

Our shared sorrow reminds us that none of us have to face heartbreak alone, and the smallest gesture of caring can make a real difference.

4. Finding Wisdom in Pain

 
During this unimaginable time, I received an email from Penny + Phil Kirk, two of my dearest friends and mentors of many years—whose words struck a deep chord with me:

Looking at the pictures of Ashlie, seeing her light and exuberance, I see my sister who was the same age, living a similar path–and who exited in a similar way.

The pain of this loss is intense. To be together now with your family and share a celebration of Ashlie’s life is the healing balm needed.

These are the experiences that deepen our understanding and test our beliefs. It is always through the trial that we know what is really true.

We love you and know this pain and sorrow will slowly transform into deep wisdom.

Their words helped me understand that it’s completely normal for my beliefs to be tested by such pain (and wow, have they been tested!), and that over time, sorrow can transform into wisdom.

5. The Healing Power of Sisterhood

 
For the past two weeks, having my sister Dawn come to stay with me in Noosa, Australia, has been indescribably healing. In our quiet moments together, we’ve allowed ourselves to feel every emotion—as raw and messy as they may be.

We’ve asked the hard questions: Why did this happen? Where is she now? Can we still feel her presence? In our candid, unguarded conversations, we rediscovered the deep bond that only sisters can share—a connection that can easily be overlooked in the rush of everyday life. It’s been a rare, beautiful

Many of you have asked how Dawn is doing. She’s holding up as best as she can, though the grief runs especially deep for her as Ashlie’s mother. Still, Dawn is allowing herself to feel and taking the time she needs to care for herself. I’m so grateful to be part of her journey during this healing process—it helps me heal as well.

That’s why I’m more committed than ever to helping soul-driven women (and men!) build lives and businesses that light them up, align with their authentic purpose, and break through the obstacles that stand in the way.

Because the truth is, none of us know how much time we have.

But we do get to choose how boldly, how intentionally, and how unapologetically we live the time we’re given.

So, if there’s a dream tugging at your heart—Ashlie’s story is the nudge: Don’t wait. You and your dreams deserve to be prioritized, pursued, and brought to life.

In Loving Memory

Ashlie’s passing has left a void that words can hardly capture. Yet, in our shared grief and through these lessons, I have come to understand that love, even in the face of immense loss, remains the most powerful force.

I hope that by sharing my journey, you too might find comfort, clarity, and the courage to embrace both the beauty and the pain of life.

All my love,

Carmen xo

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