One Life To Live
I’ve had some big decisions to make lately. Mostly around business – whether to take the risk and make the leap.
Here’s what I’ve been hearing in my head:
- It’s too risky
- I’m too old
- Why not just stay with what I’m doing?
- I’m going to have to work really hard (and I’ve worked hard for most of my life)
- What if it isn’t profitable?
- More importantly, what if it takes too much time, energy and money TO make it profitable?
- What if I lose all my money trying to make it work?
Do you have any of those thoughts in your head about any of your dreams? Are they stopping you taking the leap? Stopping you from creating a life you love and living a more SOUL-ful life?
YES, was my answer.
But yesterday something shifted. I woke up and had this realization:
You know, I’ve only got one life (maybe more, if you believe in reincarnation, but no one really knows for sure – so I’m acting as if I only have one life to live).
One life to live
I really let that sink in. Knowing that, would I be satisfied with staying with the status quo and not going after a big dream of mine?
Which would I rather when I’m 90 years old: Staying with what I have now (playing safe, no risk), but always wishing I had of gone after one of my important dreams? OR, would I be more proud of myself and feel more fulfilled, if I went after an important dream….even if I failed?
In this context, my long list of noisy fears, got pushed into the backseat, as I remembered that for me, going after a dream is more important than possibly failing at it. And that I have an even bigger, more important fear: Not fully living my life and looking back with regret with things I didn’t attempt to do.
Now, I’m not talking about silly risks – investing without doing a business plan, not doing your research, not being prepared to do the work or going after something that really isn’t possible. ie I would love to be the next Shakira singer, song writer and dancer – but that isn’t going to happen :) What I am talking about is being pulled forward by your dreams, rather than held back by self-limiting fears.
ACTION STEPS:
- What is one dream that you can’t stop thinking about?
- What the fears (negative voices) that you hear in your head? Write them ALL down, right now.
- Are they TRUE?
- Who do you know that is a good example of the exact opposite of one of your fears? For example, if you think you’re too old – is that true and who do you know what accomplished something similar at your age or older?
- How will you feel and what will be the consequences if you DON’T go after your dream?
- How will you feel and what will be the results if you DO go after your dream?
- Where can you get advice, coaching, mentoring to help you navigate any self-limiting fears and then also help you achieve your dream?*
*Everything is “figure-outable” – especially if you apply desire, focus, mentorship, hard work, and love.
And so, I’m going forward with one of my big dreams. It doesn’t mean that I don’t feel sacred or worried at times – that’s normal with any risk, even a calculated one. My fears will still be in the back of my mind.
But I’ll act in spite of fear.
I’ll keep choosing to be pulled forward by my aspirations, rather than held back by my fears.
And…I think my 90 year old self will approve :)
Over to you! Did this resonate? What negative voices do you hear in your head? How do you reframe them? Do you have a story of feeling your fear and doing it anyways?
Share here – the best insights happen in the comments when we share our ideas and strategies. I personally read every single comment and and always respond – I love to hear.
Lots of love,
Carmen xo
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One thing I am realizing is, that the story I often tell myself the most (deep down if I really listen) is that I am going to have to be something so much more than I am, (or have ever known myself to be so far) which goes even further than stepping out of my comfort zone or putting effort in, or changing my ways… it means expanding myself to my next best level.. shining my light to my next brightness of space and experience, and having the courage to do that… not knowing what it’s going to look like or how people are going to perceive it. I realize that, that kind of fear is more prominent to me then the little stuff I tell myself about why I can’t, why i wont.The the little fears are like armor that mask the “fear” of my limitless self. The one I hide behind and guard with all of my might…yet that might, if I could let it shine and be used for me.. and not against me… could be my MIGHTY-NESS.
Thanks for writing and sharing all of this Kim – I know others will really resonate with this too. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world” – Marianne Williamson’s famous quote – famous b/c so many people can relate. So you’re not alone or strange for thinking/feeling this. And you’re on the exact right track – summoning your MIGHTY-NESS to take the driver’s seat instead of being in the trunk of the car :) Carmen xo
And the way I am going to approach my armor,and the negative thoughts and self talk,and excuses.is to not say I can’t because…but rather to say…. what would mighy-ness do here, think here, say here… AND listen to THAT VOICE…and do something about it!
Kim – GREAT self-coaching – especially identifying a name that resonates with you – what would your mighty-ness (higher self) do in this situation. Love that :))
Change can be scary. I often find myself going back to the “comfort zone”. Within the last month I started meditating for 30 minutes a day to calm my mind with so many ideas floating around in there. Meditating helps me to keep grounded and find out who I am and what I really want. At this point I’m just trying to get clearer on my dreams and living a more authentic life. I don’t want to start a business and have it come across unauthentic but really be able to put my heart and soul into what I truly feel in my heart ❤️.
Mmmm….so good you’re meditating Sharon. Beautiful that you’ve been so consistent with that! I find 3 things really help me find my truth: 1. Doing something I love everyday (keeps me inspired and happy) 2. Walking in nature (my best ideas come when I’m walking in nature, running, doing dishes, or in the shower) and 3. Journaling. Those 3 things have really helped me “reinvent” myself over the past couple of years – in business and life. I need all 3 – and the combo has really helped :)) Thank you for sharing Sharon – it really helps us all! Carmen xo
Absolutely! I went through a similar process when I was trying to decide if I should join Remote Year (leave my family, friends, job and travel the world for a year – yikes!) Once I asked myself if I would regret not trying, I instantly knew my answer. I also want to be 90 years old and look back with pride knowing I didn’t let fear stop me from pursuing a dream!
So excited to see what you’re up to next – I know it will be amazing!
It’s such a great question to use as a litmus test – “Will I regret NOT doing this”? And I’m SO glad you are doing what you’re doing this year – such an amazing experience that you are having – that took courage, taking the leap, taking a risk – and you DID it. You are definitely creating a life you love and a life of experiences! Thank you Michelle for sharing and thank you! Carmen xo